I was thinking all afternoon about the anti-DLC screed(s) I wanted to write tonight, and I was happily surprised to see a number of other people writing on basically the same topic. This has gripped me all day, what a huge problem this is, having Republicans being accepted as Democrats writing things as inflamatory as any Rove anti-liberal comment.

If you think about it, the DLC are an organization that are presented as Democrats by the media, have Hillary Clinton as their figurehead, and they use their time in the spotlight to present snarky rants against Howard Dean, Michael Moore, and all rank and file liberals with a small "L."

That's motherfucking depressing.

Now, all along, I've been reading people on the liberal blogs writing that we just needed to be quiet for a while because the Republicans were having a "civil war" in their party. Surely John McCain and other "liberal Conservatives" would rebel against the Bushies and we'd waltz in and regain control of the Congress and/or White House.

No, no, no. They are not having a civil war. They are MARKETING THEMSELVS AS A TWO-PARTY SYSTEM.

Ever since Giuliani changed the emphasis of the City toward being a service industry tourist destination instead of the cultural mecca of the world, tourists have flooded into the City. They arrogantly push real New Yorkers aside as though we were props or actors at Disneyland there for their amusement.

On Wednesdays during the Broadway matinees, you sometimes literally can't get anywhere in midtown. It's not just that there are so MANY idiots in white shoes and socks, it's that they're all STROLLING and staring skyward while we are all trying to work and live our lives. Recently, I was pushed and shoved by a tourist who decided I was in his way as I tried to get a copy of The Onion from a dispenser. His girlfriend dragged him off me and apologized, but this was the last straw.

I've comedically called for hunting season to be opened on tourists in Manhattan, reasoning that if it works to prevent overpopulation of deer, it might work with these dears too. Just take out the bucks, let the kids and their moms return home and tell the other tourists in Touristania to stay away from New York.

Then yesterday I saw the funniest photo. I laughed out loud as I saw it on the cover of the newspaper. It was a photo of a bunch of tourists with their hands in the air, being inspected by the cops who heard there might be a tourist I mean terrorist on board their touristmobile. The guy working the news stand glared at me for laughing at this picture, and I'm sure many reading this will be offended that I would find this funny.

Well, remember how FOX on-air dudes were saying they wished the terrorists would bomb France, and so many of us got offended? This is my version of that. Having the TOURISTS get stopped and harrassed by the cops this time is too fucking funny. As a person who barely avoided getting caught in an orange net during the Republican convention when I was just walking home from work last year, I refuse to apologize for enjoying that brief moment of turnabout, seeing the people who support these policies enduring the results of their support.

And for those who read the Daily News saying Bloomberg is liberal AND BELIEVE IT, please go suck a tailpipe. Bloomberg allowed the Republicans to set up their own private prison system in NYC throughout the convention, then put them in charge of the policing. Many people were arrested who weren't even protesting, and this was done on purpose, according to some of the arresting officers, to "teach people a lesson."

Yeah, what a great "liberal" mayor. He's liberal enough to join the DLC.

WE NEED TO TAKE BACK NEW YORK FROM THE REPUBLICANS AND THE TOURIST MACHINE AND RETURN TO OUR FORMER GREATNESS. Then we could actually do something to help the rest of you take back the Democratic Party from the DLC.

Hey I live in New York and I have been all for Hillary up til now. I realize she's pretty conservative for a Democrat, but I figured alot of that was posturing to get elected. Lately she's taken it so far I have to comment publicly.

First, she joined with Joe "Have I Switched Parties Yet" Leiberman to call for a BIGGER war in Iraq with even MORE American soldiers being placed in harm's way (hope she got a thank you note from Bush for that one).

Second, she forced them to frigging withdraw GRAND THEFT AUTO from stores like it was Traci Lords underage porno!

I am so angry at Hillary Clinton these days.

Hill, when we voted for you, we were hoping for a sort of Bill Clinton Junior. We were NOT voting for Tipper Gore on steroids.

Why not stop censoring and trying to send more soldiers to a useless war, drop the DLC, and actually represent your constituents like you know you can and should?

Ehh, I'm shouting into the wind again, and it's a fetid wind...

How to Ride the Subway by Sir Bloomberg,
Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler of the Aristocracy Party

BE IT KNOWN TO ALL YE PEASANTS:

1. When entering a subway station, have your bags open to inspection and be prepared to prove citizenship.
   
2. It is not necessary to be down on your knees before the inspecting officers, but it doesn't hurt. Respect for my officers is respect for me, and all the aristocracy.
   
3. Make sure you put your weed in your pocket, not your knapsack. I'm a Republican now, so I have to enforce the pot laws. Just giving you a heads up.
   
4. NO COMPLAINING. Remember, you are guilty until proven innocent, and sometimes even after proven innocent. This is the way our Founding Fathers wanted it to be.
   
5. DO NOT SEIG HEIL to the officers rummaging at random through your private life in public. I am Jewish and I find Nazi references to be distasteful. Far better to give the former Mussolini salute, as herr commandant Schwarzenegger gave during our last glorious Aristocracy Party Convention.
   
6. DO NOT LOOK YOUR KEEPERS IN THE EYES. This will get you an automatic 72-hour lockup, minimum.
   
7. FOLLOW ALL INSTRUCTIONS.
   
8. STAY TO THE RIGHT WHEN WALKING.
   
9. KEEP FEET OFF THE SEATS.
   
10. NO GRAFFITTI, NO EATING, NO SWEARING.
    
11. Ride safely and have a nice day.

I look around and see little comment on how the right are supported in their bizarre attacks on the left by the Anti-Defamation League coming out on the side of BUSH AND THE TORTURERS, telling us nobody is allowed to compare anything to the Holocaust in any way (or if you do, WE'LL TAR AND FEATHER YOU).

Recently, both Rush Limbaugh and that creepy writer turned columnist at WaPo have levelled charges of anti-semitism at the left and got no flak for it that I can see.

This is the subject often referred to in passing but never focused on even in left-wing blogs. The right figures if people can't tell the difference between Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein, they sure won't know the difference between John Conyers and Louis Farrakhan, and they'll believe those commie liberals hate the Jews. Bloggers have expressed their anger at Mayor Daley but nobody was upset with the ADL and their vicious smearing of Durbin. But seriously, in my opinion, this (the ADL's attack on Durbin, printed when it came out but never referred to in post-mortem discussions of the controversy) is how they actually got Durbin to apologize, not Mayor Daley. I urge everyone to re-read his apology and tell me that's not a response to the ADL attacking him, ask yourself exactly who he is apologizing to with those particular words. In my opinion, it is an issue that should be addressed publicly that the ADL bullies and arm-twists Senators on behalf of war criminals and torturers, in fact not even allowing public discourse on nazi-like behavior. In 50 years, will Arabs have a group that demands nobody address the concerns of whoever is being tortured at THAT point? The rhetoric then would be, "How DARE you compare this new form of torture to the suffering at GITMO? These people have only been held incommunicado for 6 months, at GITMO, they were held for years! You must stop attacking our wonderful government, they would NEVER stoop so low as the Americans of the early 21st century! Such discussion shall not be allowed!" How sick is this, and everyone is scared of being called anti-semitic, so they don't touch it, nobody wants to end up like Durbin.

Liberals need to get over their fear of being smeared and accept it as a fact of life when you're forced to deal with infantile lizard brains. I've been called a "feminazi" and I've been called a "misogynist." WHO CARES WHAT CREEPS SAY? It's their biological imperative to say creepy things. There are a lot of Ed Kleins out there (on every level of existence) who need to cut others down so they can feel normal-sized. SO WHAT? It's not an excuse to back away from fighting the good fight or trying to live a life of purpose.

Or talking about taboo subjects in public.